There are days when I honestly feel like I have no one. Not that I don’t have anyone, but no one close enough to be of a comfort to me.
I’m doing something uncharacteristic tomorrow.
I’m so excited that I’m literally tingling. Also, hey! What’s up? It’s been a while, no?
It’s so hard sometimes…
You can’t always get what you want… But sometimes you get what you need. I needed to be heard and I got that. It wasn’t necessarily the emotional response I selfishly craved, but I was heard and understood. That matters so much more right now than my selfish wants. I also need to prove how true my words are by sticking to them and backing them up with continued and prolonged action. I can do this.
Model: Brandon S.
My handsome little cousin!
Toronto at night.
Aka, the view from my balcony <3.
Bold moves are sometimes the best moves.
I know I said I would discuss how I got myself on track financially but I’m so excited about something bold that I did today that I have to discuss it!
A posting went up in my company (a medium-large financial institution in the downtown Toronto core) for a process analyst position. This is an area that I have wanted to get into for quite some time now as regular administrative processing has been eating my soul of late. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my company. It’s just that the current role that I’m in has gotten a little stale for me. I don’t feel challenged anymore.
So when this posting went up and I realized that I knew the manager (he used to be a manager in our department), I decided that a bold move to leave a memorable impression was necessary. I decided to ambush him at his desk to discuss the position. Now, a little background on me - I am generally terrified of rocking the boat in these situations. I got stomach cramps just thinking of talking to him - and he is one of the nicest, most approachable people I’ve ever met! I decided that I needed to stop letting fear rule my life. I miss 100% of the shots that I don’t take - and I’ve managed to not take quite a few of them out of fear.
The conversation went quite well - we discussed the position in detail - he told me a few reasons that he thought I might be a good fit and encouraged me to apply. Now this by no means actually means that I will get the position. I do, however, have a good feeling about it. If nothing else, it will serve as a good learning experience and teach me that being bold is sometimes necessary!
Today was a good day!
I knew it would happen..
Tonight is my last night living at home with my mom (and stepfather)… and the sadness has really hit me. Like majorly. I’m excited, nervous, afraid, happy and sad all at once. The overwhelming feeling regarding tomorrow’s midday move is bittersweet. I’m excited to start my life with Kash, but I’m so sad to be officially moving out and away from my mom. Even in university we always knew I’d move back home… the finality of it now is hard to accept. The tears will flow and eventually the sadness will dissipate, but until then I’m finding small comfort in the tears on both sides because I know the feeling is reciprocated. I’ll always be a mama’s girl.
A new beginning..
I have used this blog for many purposes - mostly revolving around frivolously sharing funny anecdotes as well as writing out my frustrations with life. I’m finally using it for the purpose that I originally intended it to be used for - discussing the means that I possess, and the means available to me, to become fully financially independent.
Lets start with some background on me. I come from a family that doesn’t have the best track record with money. My parents split up at a young age and, despite a happy childhood, my most frequent recollections were that of financial struggles. That being said - we were not unhappy. I had one of those childhoods rife with adventure - playing outside, skinned knees, riding bikes and getting yelled at to get inside before the street lights came on. It was like a scene from Now and Then.
When I got older and headed off to university, my parents told me constantly to be wary of credit cards and debt - to not make the same mistakes they made with money. Unfortunately, they also did not discuss with me how credit cards work, how the interest rates work and how the interest is calculated and capitalized month by month. I resisted the call of credit and carried an unactivated credit card in my purse for ‘emergencies only’ from first to third year of university. The financial instability that my family faced while I was growing up terrified me. I already had OSAP debt - I didn’t want credit card debt as well.
Unfortunately, from a cash-flow perspective - many university students don’t have a lot of options. I am certainly not the first student whose OSAP did not cover everything. OSAP also stipulated that if I worked more than 10 hours a week, I could have to pay back my OSAP. It didn’t seem worth it to me because I would never make the amount that OSAP was giving me through a part time job if I was forced to pay it back. At that point, I began to use my credit card to help supplement my cash flow.
To say that the situation snowballed is an understatement. Here I was, a fourth year nearly-graduated student with a crapload of debt. Upon graduation, I found myself struggling to obtain employment in an economy that wasn’t at its best. People were not hiring.
I finally found my current job about two years ago, but was on contract. To my brain, that meant - save, save, save! You never know when the contract will just end - you need a nest egg. It really seemed logical to me at the time - honest. I needed to have rainy day money. If I was smarter about my spending and repaying my high-interest consumer debt - I would have been in a good position. Instead I wiled the first year away - making little attempts here and there to understand and track my finances. In actuality, I was terrified that I would never have a full-benefits, full time position and I felt like my debt would continue to spiral out of control. About a year ago, while I was still on contract, I bit the bullet and made the calls to find out exactly how much I owed. The amount floored me. In addition to the $24K in OSAP, I had racked up nearly $6K in credit card debt. High interest - super high interest credit card debt.
In that moment, I knew I needed a plan or I would be screwed. Like totally, utterly screwed. To say that today things are different would be a gross understatement. One year later I have zero credit card debt…. okay well, I just bought a coat that cost a lot of money… *cough TNA cough* but it’s easily paid off because I’m living within my means. My OSAP is down to $11K and I have a solid plan to have it paid off within a year in addition to saving a nest egg for both my wedding and my first home purchase. And if you think I’m doing this because I have some fancy job that pays a whole heap of money - you are sorely incorrect. My next blog will outline the steps I took to reduce my spending in order to see where my money was actually going as opposed to where it should have been going.
There, I’ve come clean about my financial past and present. What about you? Have you sat down and looked at your finances lately? It’s never too late to start.
The debt blog!
I have so much to update on this. Accountability is important and I need to come clean about my successes and failures over the past few months. I am ecstatic to report that my successes far outweigh any failures. My OSAP is less than half of what it was at this time last year, I have a solid savings plan and my credit cards are at a zero balance every month. I have to say that the first step in the right direction for me was sitting down and taking a good hard look at everything I owed. The next step was organizing them by interest rate. My personal plan was to put the majority of payments that I could afford to make onto the highest interest debt first. I paid minimums on OSAP until all consumer debt was paid off. My reason was that interest on my OSAP loan is tax deductible. It is also much lower.
Once my consumer debt was clear - and I had a lot of it - I set up biweekly payments into my savings account. These coincided with pay day so I essentially paid myself first. That money was my rainy day fund. The rest was used to pay down any outstanding debt and tide me through to my next pay day. I maintained a goal of what I could afford to pay OSAP biweekly in addition to my regular monthly payment. Following that plan - I paid off more than half of my OSAP balance from April to now and have maintained zero balances on my credit card. I have also put away a rainy day fund in my savings account. That amount equates to three months of pay. Once I hit that amount, the extra coming in was also put toward debt payment. My reasoning for keeping the savings at that level and not higher is that the interest rates on my debt - even low interest like OSAP- is still higher than the rate of return on my savings. Also, the sooner the OSAP is gone, the sooner every cent from my pay cheque becomes my own to do with as I please.
I hope this helps as a first stepping stone. Many people organize their finances in different ways. As a debt-ridden new grad, this method made the most sense to me. Also, to stay encouraged and motivated, read personal finance blogs. It really helps to know that you aren’t alone in trying to make your future financially sound!
oops. i should maybe post some stuff.
i’ll get on that soon. domestication is eating my soul.
I actually liked Free Agents.
Damn you, NBC. Whitney and Up All Night both suck. Cancel them and bring back Free Agents!
Ever wonder…
… what do I want?
Ambition without action is waste. So much wasted potential. I don’t want to be another number added to the pile of wasted talent. I want to do.. I want to create… I want to leave a lasting mark. My fear is that I will never step up and do just that. That I will forever remain in this status quo existence.
I will not be that person. I am digging deep and figuring out what I am good at and putting those talents to use. It may never be a full time career - but I have to give back. I need to do this.
I am thankful…
For being finally settled in at our new place.
Day 8 of fasting from meat and liquor for Diwali is going really well. I never thought I could go so many days without meat. We fast until October 26th.
The view from the 41st floor is magical.
